Avoid Getting Teacher Shamed

I planned to relax for a bit and logged onto social media, thinking I would find some inspirational and fun stories posted about music teachers. Instead, I found negative remarks like:

• “Can you believe what this teacher said to me? Here’s the screenshot.”
• “This is what Mrs. Smith replied when I emailed her about a missing assignment. Facebook, you know what to do!”
• “Teachers don’t make decisions for my kids — parents make decisions. No one is going to tell my kid what to do at school. Here’s the teacher’s email address — I can’t stop anyone else from contacting them …”

OK, it was time to log off.

First, it goes without being said (but I’ll say it anyway) that when something egregious happens, schools and teachers must be accountable. Anything illegal or immoral must be reported to your district admin or law enforcement as soon as possible.

I’m not talking about these serious situations in this article. I’m referencing the negative and cruel items that show up online that usually stem from 1) misinformation, 2) miscommunication or 3) someone just wanting to stir things up.

Here are some ways to avoid these situations or find your way out of them.

If It Really Matters, Ask Your District to Correct the Facts

Just this morning I saw someone post, “This band director is charging kids $250 a month for a band uniform. Can someone confirm this craziness?”

Within hours, this post generated hundreds of thousands of views and over 300 comments.

After digging for a little bit, I found out that the director was not charging kids $250 a month to be in band. Many parents commented to defend the director and program, stating that the $250 was a one-time fee for uniform cleaning, purchasing a polo and shoes, meals, travel and some other incidentals.

The original poster said, “OK, thanks for clarifying. You can never trust anything.”

When commenters asked her to remove the post, she did not answer. Later, she commented that she didn’t even have a kid in the band or the school district.

These types of situations can be frustrating. If you find yourself in this situation, first ask if the information is really damaging. In this case, a claim that a director is charging $250 a month for a band uniform presents math that doesn’t check out. If someone posted this about you, you would probably be concerned that someone is accusing you of financial wrongdoing. In this case, I would present this to my administration as someone posting something false and ask if I should handle it or if someone at the district should address it.

If you’re tasked with handling it, present facts and avoid pouring more drama in the comments. Yes, it’s frustrating that you must take time away from teaching or planning, but don’t engage too much in the comments or it will take even more of your precious time and energy.

For clarification: We ask for a $250 fee for first-time members. This is not a monthly fee — it’s a one-time fee. Our families have the option of paying this fee over monthly installments of $25. Our $250 first-time member fee covers our official band polo, our marching band drillmaster shoes for safety on the field and in parades, our official band baseball cap, cleaning fee for the competition and football game uniform, and helps offset transportation and meals for the band.

In the event a family has a hardship concerning the fee, we ask them to reach out to the director or band booster club president.

That’s it. No moralizing, no arguing, just the facts. It won’t satisfy everyone — someone may start another thread saying, “Why can’t the school cover these items?” or “We quit band because it was too expensive.” Your focus should remain on the task at hand.

Here’s another version that’s more nuanced in how you handle it. It’s when a post is true, but almost all the context is missing.

“My kid asked to use the restroom, and the teacher told her no.”

This sentence can make a teacher look bad in an instant. People who have never taught may not consider:

• Did the student just return from lunch?
• Is this the fourth time that week this student asked to use the bathroom then disappeared for 35 minutes?
• Did the teacher ask, “Can you wait 10 minutes?” and the student answered “Yes?”
• Or maybe the student really did need to go, and the teacher’s rules were too rigid, and the parent has a point.

All of those possibilities exist.

Before I rush to defend myself, I’d ask an uncomfortable question — is the complaint wrong, or do I just not like how it sounds?

Those are two different things.

What to Do if a Post is About You

First, don’t turn yourself into your program’s full-time social media monitoring service. Don’t search for your name, your school or your program every night. If a concerning post is brought to your attention, save a screenshot or link and stop scrolling.

Next, find out what really happened. Was your rule consistent with school policy? Was there a medical need, accommodation or other information you didn’t know? Was the student denied access or simply asked to wait a few minutes?

If you handled something incorrectly, address the issue with the family and your administration rather than trying to win an argument online.

If the post contains material misinformation, show it to your administration and ask whether it warrants a response. If the facts are basically correct but someone disagrees with your policy, an online debate probably won’t improve the situation.

This is also a good reason to examine your rules before there is ever a complaint. Restroom access, attendance, performance eligibility, grades, auditions, discipline, fees, trips and accommodations can all create disagreements.

A rule like “students who miss the final rehearsal cannot perform” may be completely reasonable. But was it written down, communicated ahead of time, applied consistently and aligned with school policy?

The same applies to auditions and chair placements. A rubric or clearly explained process won’t make everyone happy, but it gives you something more useful than “trust me.”

If a rule affects access, grades, participation, money, discipline or student safety, make sure it lines up with school policy and that you can explain it clearly.

And yes, sometimes we get something wrong. If that happens, correcting the mistake is probably more productive than spending three days proving that someone on Facebook exaggerated part of the story.

If You Wouldn’t Put it on a Billboard, Don’t Put it In an Email

District email, messaging apps and anything you type on a device connected to a district login is not private. As soon as you send a message to someone, you can no longer control what happens to that message.

My rule? If I wouldn’t be comfortable with something going on a billboard in Times Square, I won’t put it in an email. That includes messages to everyone — parents, students, faculty, staff, administration and community members. Even if they shouldn’t, nothing is stopping anyone from screenshotting a message and posting it with or without context information.

Using a personal device or account does not automatically make school-related communication private either. Public schools are generally subject to state public-records laws, and school-related records may be subject to disclosure depending on the law and circumstances in your state. The federal Freedom of Information Act applies to federal agencies, so check your district’s policies and your own state’s public-records requirements rather than assuming one rule applies everywhere.

Check your district’s school board minutes — chances are you’ll find examples of people requesting school records. These may include everything from construction bidding contracts to teacher email records.

This Too Shall Pass

If you find yourself or your program being attacked on social media, here’s one thing you can count on — eventually they’ll move on and focus on something else.

Your best option? Just be boring.

Use written communication for facts only or use it to schedule a phone call or in-person meeting. If you find misinformation online, determine if it matters. If it doesn’t, move on. If it does, correct with the facts and avoid arguing.

This may not be exciting — but it keeps you focusing on your students, your work and the things you can actually control.