Balancing Motherhood and Teaching

Annie Ray — an award-winning teacher in the Washington, D.C. suburb of Annandale, Virginia — wears many hats in her daily life, both as a teacher and a mother of two young girls. This extraordinary teacher has earned recognition for leadership in several areas, and she was even named the 2024 Grammy Music Educator.

Ray’s accomplishments are varied and far-reaching. In addition to founding Crescendo Orchestra for students with disabilities, she was inspired by her mentor Brian Coatney to start a parent orchestra , so parents can learn to play instruments like their children. But one of her most impactful programs is Motherhood and Music Education (MAME), which provides resources and support for music teachers on extended leave.

Supporting Each Other

Ray and Alexandra Blaine, a friend and colleague, were pregnant at the same time — Blaine with her first baby and Ray with her second. The timing was a godsend, Ray says, for the support and camaraderie.

“Going through the same thing at the exact same time with her made a world of difference,” says Ray, the Performing Arts Department Chair and Orchestra Director at Annandale High School. Blaine is the Orchestra Director at West Springfield High School also in the Fairfax County Public Schools system.

Together, the two women supported each other through the day-to-day experience of expecting a baby, problem-solving and balancing their personal lives with work duties. One of the biggest hurdles both women faced was finding a long-term substitute teacher for at least six weeks.

Ray and Blaine noticed an alarming problem: a lack of resources for all caregivers to take extended leave from their jobs for maternity, paternity or bereavement. That isn’t fair to teachers.

Ray said that teachers returning to their jobs after a period of absence would often hear, “Oh, I didn’t expect you to come back.”

Providing Helpful Tools

Blaine said staying home with her newborn during maternity leave brought great joy, but presented a huge, daunting task: How do I prepare someone to step into such a specialized, nuanced role?

“We both had a very hard time finding long-term subs with a music background,” says Blaine. “This is where we see so many people leave the profession.”

Ray and Blaine had their babies over the summer, and during the 2023-2024 school year, they started working together to combine resources and create templates and substitute plans to share with other teachers. They applied to speak at educator conferences about the benefits of supporting mothers, and they gave a presentation on the topic at a Virginia Music Educators Association.

In July 2024, they officially started Motherhood and Music Education, which falls under Ray’s company called Annie Ray Sounds. This program, run in close partnership with the nonprofit Fairfax Arts Coalition for Education, provides resources to music teachers who become mothers.

“I think the biggest thing is that we want mothers to have the tools to know that they can make it through these early childhood years,” Blaine says. “The bottom line is, we want to save more people in the profession and keep them in the classroom.”

Resources for the Care-Giving Community

“Alexandra and I worked to pull together resources to make leave time easier,” Ray says. She has two daughters: Eloise, 3, and Millie, 20 months. “We’re stronger together.”

Guiding the Motherhood and Music Education initiative was this question: “How can you be a parent or caregiver, specifically through the lens of a woman, and still pursue what you’re passionate about?” says Ray, who took about 10 weeks of maternity leave.

A key component of MAME is creating quality plans for substitute teachers, so that students can still get a solid lesson, even if the sub is not a professional music teacher. Because music teachers’ jobs are so specialized, not just anybody can cover for them well, Ray says. But, with quality lesson plans available on Schoology, that will take “the mental load off of your plate,” she says.

“For the majority of the school districts, there is no person writing curriculum full-time for the district,” she says. “The goal of Motherhood in Music Education is to fill that gap. The aim is to create a collection of these premade things, so the answers are already there for people.”

When a music teacher goes on maternity leave, she needs to know that a sub will be equipped to handle their special subject, which is very hands-on rather than intellectual and abstract, Ray explains.

“The music education field is so much more than just a classroom,” she says. “You’re basically running your own nonprofit with recruitment and retention.”

In addition to lesson plans, MAME supports all caregivers – not just those who identify with the term “mother” – as they navigate the challenges of balancing caregiving and careers in music education. At the organization’s website and on its Facebook group, caregivers share pumping schedules, hacks, rights and practical strategies for balancing parenthood with professional responsibilities, Ray says.

“We are in the business of nurturing and raising children, whether in our own homes or in our classrooms,” she says. “Our community supports everything from mental wellness and work-life integration to advocating for family-friendly policies in educational institutions.”

By providing real-life solutions and a supportive network, MAME empowers caregivers to thrive both at home and at work while making the child-raising profession more accessible and inclusive.

Work-Life Balance

Nobody will completely figure out the tricky life equation of work versus life, Ray says. Both work and family life are demanding, but she has a system that works well for her in her everyday life.

In the morning and early afternoon, she is at work at Annandale High School. When she comes home, though, she focuses on spending time with her husband and girls. Ray often brings work home with her — she doesn’t have enough free planning periods during the day — but she doesn’t touch it until the girls go to bed in the early evening.

“I really make a hard line between my personal and professional life,” Ray says. “If there’s a thing I have to do for my kids at school, I open my laptop and do it, but that’s a choice.”

Even though they are separate, sometimes her professional and personal lives influence each other. Ray received the 2024 Grammy Music Educator Award, which came soon after she had her second daughter. In an interview with Washington Family Magazine, she said her teaching career has influenced her parenting style as a mother and vice versa.

“Motherhood is the greatest teacher of my life,” Ray told the magazine. “It and teaching don’t have to be a ‘you have to choose one or the other’ situation. Teaching makes me a better mother, and being a mother makes me a better teacher. The two roles go hand in hand.”

Future Goals

Ray’s and Blaine’s vision is for MAME to “grow into a truly inclusive and empowering space for all caregivers in music education.”

“We want MAME to become a go-to hub where caregivers can access not just lesson plans and classroom strategies, but also real-life resources for balancing the unique demands of caregiving and music education careers,” Ray says.

She wants to expand the MAME community, which has accumulated a group of about 450 women, to offer more workshops, live discussions and resource-sharing on topics like navigating maternity and paternity leave, and mental wellness. Ray hopes to develop a student-centered classroom to pull the weight off a director’s shoulders, along with creative solutions for managing rehearsals and family life. Some other music teachers have reached out and said they are interested in helping with MAME, which Blaine and Ray hope will continue to happen in the future.

“Most importantly, we want to amplify voices from all caregiving backgrounds, not just mothers, to reflect the diversity of experiences in our field,” Ray says. “Ultimately, we hope MAME inspires a cultural shift in the profession, where caregiving and career growth aren’t seen as opposing forces but as interconnected paths that can be embraced and supported.”

Photos by Paige Fremder