Don’t Be a Pushover

The assistant principal asks, “We need your room during fifth hour for testing. Can you relocate band for a few weeks?”

If you’ve taught long enough, you already know what happens next. Little to no percussion access. Half the class time lost to logistics. And a group of kids who feel like they were pushed aside.

I didn’t want to be known as difficult, so I said “yes.”
Three weeks later, rehearsal quality dropped. Kids were frustrated. I was frustrated — but I didn’t let anyone know. I replayed the conversation on the drive home. I told myself pushing back wouldn’t have changed anything. But I knew the truth.

Nobody forced me. I agreed to this.

Being Easy to Work With Isn’t a Plan

Many early-service teachers think being low maintenance makes them professional. Quick agreement can build trust, and cooperation simply means “we’ll figure out the stressful stuff later.”

Your speedy acquiescence makes your program the easiest one to squeeze out. In my case, when something had to move, we moved. When something had to give, we gave. It soon stopped being a discussion. It became an expectation.

Feeling like we were the only group that had to make concessions was frustrating. Moving forward, it wasn’t about becoming difficult or saying “no” just to say “no.” It was about advocating for my program.

Fast Answers Usually Come From Fear

One of the biggest early mistakes I made was answering immediately. Requests came in, and I responded on the spot. Room changes. Schedule shifts. Extra performances. Pull-outs during rehearsal.

I thought my administration would care if I responded promptly. I even thought they’d be upset if I didn’t get back to their email within the same hour (even though some of my emails took a day or two for them to respond to).

Speed did not really matter. All it did was show the anxiety I had about being seen as a team-player.

Silence can feel uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean you have to fill the space right away. Instead of trying to answer quickly, answer thoughtfully because thoughtful answers protect students and programs.

Frustration Doesn’t Translate

I’m a musician. An artist. Translation: I sometimes get a little emotional and want to say:

• “This is frustrating.”
• “This keeps happening.”
• “This makes rehearsal difficult.”

All true, but sharing these thoughts is not effective.

When advocating for your program, state facts. Impact works better than emotion.

• “It’s difficult for us to make that change because we lose percussion access, and 10 kids per class won’t be able to participate for five weeks.”
• Or, “We lose instructional time every day we relocate.”
• Or, “This affects over 100 students preparing for graded, summative performance.”

That’s a different conversation. You’re no longer venting. You’re informing.

Most People Don’t Understand Rehearsal Reality

We’re not criticizing your admin or building leadership. We’re just pointing to reality. Chances are you don’t completely understand your principal’s job, and they don’t understand yours. That’s OK — as long as we work together.

Running a music rehearsal includes many considerations. Most people don’t understand how routine affects beginners, how setup time compounds across weeks, or how physical space shapes ensemble outcomes. If you don’t explain it, people will assume. And we all know what they say about assuming…

Be clear and direct when you speak. It’s not rude or off-putting — it’s simply translating the problem into language that everyone understands.

Patterns Matter More Than Incidents

One disruption is manageable. Again — it’s fine to be a team player and help out your school community. But repeated disruptions? These have a compounding and long-term effect.

Early on, I kept everything in my head. I thought I would remember all the instances we were pushed out or that we had to sacrifice rehearsal time for another activity. But, I didn’t remember everything. Now I log. Not for leverage — for accuracy.

Go back to facts and the impact the disruption will have:

• Don’t say, “It feels like we’ve lost a lot of time” — this is vague.
• Instead, say, “Since September, we’ve lost nine instructional days” — this is concrete.

Documentation doesn’t make you confrontational. It makes you credible.

Decide Your Boundaries Before the Meeting

If you wait until a conversation starts to decide what matters, you’ll make decisions under pressure. And the less experience you have, the easier it is to agree without considering the long-term impact.

Define what you need to protect, and it will be easy to say:

• Rehearsal space is non-negotiable.
• Beginner instructional time is non-negotiable.
• Concert scheduling can be flexible — with ample notice.

When you know your lines, decisions are easier. You also sound more confident.

Not Every Pushback Is Professional

Did I mention I’m a musician, and that sometimes I get a little emotional? There were times that I pushed back because of my ego. I felt overlooked. I wanted to prove a point that we needed respect.

That wasn’t leadership. That was insecurity. And that was on me to pause and go back to my boundaries. Is this affecting instruction, access or long-term expectations? Is the school really in a jam without me adjusting something? These questions helped me set my ego aside and decide rationally.

Preparation Changes Conversations

Musicians are great at practicing. This goes beyond our instrument or voice. Having a few prepared responses can help you and your program.

• “I need to think through the impact before I commit.”
• “I want to support this, but here’s what it affects.”
• “What would need to be in place for this to work?”

Practice these with a friend, in the mirror, on the drive home or even on a Google doc. Planning ahead for some hypothetical situations (that have a high percentage of occurring) cuts down on nerves and helps you make a decision in the best interest of your program.

If You’ve Been Too Flexible

Here’s what you don’t want to do. If you’ve been a pushover, you’ve probably stewed about this in your head and haven’t spoken about it to many people. Then one day, you’ve just had enough and erupt.

“Hey Don, we’re going to have to use the band room again tonight. No problem, right?”

“I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THE BAND ALWAYS GETTING PUSHED OUT!” Followed by a whole lot of other things you will regret saying.

The person asking for this “favor” has no clue what is going on in your head and says, “Whoa — where did that come from?”

Avoid this awkwardness by resetting expectations without frustration and drama. Try this instead: “I’ve been flexible, but I need to clarify something moving forward.”

Most reasonable people adjust quickly once expectations are defined.

Music programs (and teachers) don’t need to absorb every cost. Speaking clearly and advocating for your program prevents lost progress and a build-up of resentment.