Survival Tips for School Music Parents

Is your child joining band or orchestra for the first time? Embarking on this rewarding journey brings many things to consider for your family. To help you navigate the experience, we’ve gathered insights from seasoned band and orchestra parents to create a list of tips for surviving your first year.

(Be sure to check out the ‘Meet the Parents’ section below to read and hear firsthand experiences from the parents themselves.)

TIP #1: BE PREPARED TO PARTICIPATE

Joining a school music program not only builds lifelong skills but also creates a sense of belonging and community, allowing your child to grow their musical abilities and develop meaningful connections. Equally important is the participation and commitment of parents, who provide a stable and supportive foundation for their children to thrive. Your level of participation has a direct impact on their level of commitment. What’s more, active parental involvement enhances a child’s enthusiasm for their musical endeavors, instilling a sense of pride and motivation.

Parents who show interest in their child’s musical education help create a positive learning environment, reinforcing the values of dedication and practice. Studies and testimonies have shown that students with engaged parents are more likely to excel academically and develop better social skills, making parental support in music programs an essential component for a child’s overall growth and success. Participating in the parent community, whether by volunteering to build props, supporting the band mom or hosting team sleepovers for a group of hungry teens, can significantly enhance the experience for both you and your child. This involvement helps create a fun, supportive environment that fosters camaraderie and a sense of belonging within the group.

Here are some helpful ways you can expect to participate to make it a more rewarding experience:

• Attend all performances at concerts, recitals and competitions
• Participate and even help facilitate fund raisers
• Bring snacks to events for all the students
• Volunteer to carpool with other parents

TIP #2: COMMUNICATION IS KEY

Building a support network by staying in touch with music teachers and instructors while also encouraging your child to connect with their teachers and peers is crucial. Understanding the expectations for both you and your child can greatly benefit the entire group. This sense of responsibility and teamwork not only enhances the group’s performance but also creates a supportive and accountable environment among the students.

During peak seasons, such as performance and competition times, it is important for parents to stay connected and communicate with one another. This ensures that everyone is informed about schedules, changes, and requirements, fostering a sense of community and teamwork. Staying in touch allows parents to coordinate support efforts, such as carpooling, volunteering, or sharing responsibilities for events and rehearsals. Moreover, the shared experience and advice from seasoned parents can be invaluable for newcomers, helping them navigate the complexities of peak season with greater ease. By maintaining open lines of communication, parents can help strengthen the overall cohesion and success of the ensemble.

Here are some ways to establish relationships with the school music community:

• Utilize school communication tools and platforms to connect with other music parents for advice and support
• Join parent-teacher associations or music booster clubs
• Encourage your child to communicate their progress and challenges
• Engage in the band/orchestra parent community to support each other throughout peak seasons

TIP #3: STAY ORGANIZED

As with any sport or extracurricular activity, organization is key. For your child, this means consistently attending practices and performances while balancing schoolwork and other activities. Practice schedules can vary depending on the instrument and ensemble requirements. In time, your child will learn the importance of time management and how to do it on their own. But booster parents and band moms (and dads) can also play a significant role in maintaining organization by keeping track of rehearsal and performance schedules, coordinating transportation, and managing communication among parents, students and instructors.

Parents should utilize tools like shared calendars, reminder apps and group messaging to stay on top of important dates and deadlines. Keeping detailed records of your child’s progress, music pieces and performance attire can help avoid last-minute scrambles. Additionally, staying organized allows you to better support your child’s musical journey, ensuring they have the necessary materials, time for practice, and a balanced routine.

Here are some ways you can help your child to stay organized:

• Establish a daily routine that includes practice time
• Use a family calendar to track rehearsals, performances and deadlines
• Encourage your child to use planners or digital calendars to manage their time

TIP #4:  CREATE A SPACE FOR PRACTICE

Creating a dedicated practice environment for your child can significantly enhance their learning experience and overall musical development. It minimizes distractions, allowing your child to focus entirely on honing their skills, and also helps them establish a routine, thus promoting discipline and consistency — both essential elements for progress in music.

By providing a well-organized and supportive practice area equipped with necessary instruments and materials, you encourage regular practice and demonstrate the importance of your child’s musical pursuits. Ultimately, this nurturing atmosphere helps your child build confidence, improve their performance, and foster a lifelong love for music.

Here are some ideas for a productive practice environment:

• Designate a room or area for practice. Their room, garage, basement or other quiet space will suffice.
• Schedule a family “concert” where your child gets to perform their pieces. This provides a goal to work towards and makes practice sessions more meaningful.
• Incorporate technology by using an interactive music app (such as Tomplay) that allows them to loop difficult passages and record their performances, then play them back in order to evaluate and improve their skills.

TIP #5: KNOW THE BASICS

While you don’t need to be a musical expert, understanding the basics of your child’s instrument can greatly benefit you. Once they have decided on an instrument, do your research to make sure they get one that fits them and is high quality so it’s built to last. You can get helpful advice from their music instructor or your local dealer to find the best instrument for your child and whether it makes more sense for you to buy or rent.

The next step is to make sure your child knows how to care for their instrument. To maintain the playability and lengthen the life of their instrument, it is critical that they learn to incorporate a regular cleaning and maintenance routine. This will go a long way in helping you avoid costly repairs and at the same time enable them to stay engaged with their instrument as it will be easier to play and will sound better.

Here are some tips:

• Understand the basics of instrument care
• Schedule regular check-ups and repairs
• Know the importance of proper storage

ENJOY THE JOURNEY!

Becoming a first-time music parent is an adventure filled with a mix of excitement, anticipation and learning opportunities. It involves navigating new experiences such as understanding the dynamics of band and orchestra programs, supporting your child’s musical journey, and engaging with a vibrant community of parents and educators. It’s a rewarding activity marked by attending performances, learning about different instruments, encouraging practice routines, and being part of fundraisers and events that support the music program. Above all, it’s about witnessing your child’s growth in their musical ability and sharing in their joy and achievements.

MEET THE PARENTS

Eric

Eric Aparicio, a band parent for eight years, had two high schoolers who started on the cymbal line and moved to the drumline. His daughter also played saxophone for a year in jazz band, and his son is self-taught on guitar.

Eric recalls his daughter organizing study sessions for her bandmates to ensure that everyone met academic standards. She understood that the success of the ensemble depended on each member’s dedication, both musically and academically. Through their active involvement and strong commitment, Eric and his wife played a vital role in their children’s musical achievements. Their dedication and organization provided a solid foundation, fostering personal growth and success for their children in band.

Eric and his wife also formed lifelong friendships through their involvement. Eric reflects, “I truly enjoyed it — the social aspect, watching the kids achieve, and seeing them find a safe place where they all belong. High school can be tough for teenagers. It was also wonderful to see the kids grow and mature. I have two lifelong friends that I met in band, and I know they’ll be my friends until my last breath  on this earth. The more that you engage [as a parent], the more you’re going to really enjoy the experience. And the more you enjoy the experience, the more your child’s going to get out of that experience.”

While Eric’s children did not pursue careers in music after high school, the connections they made through their musical experiences have left a lasting impact. His daughter, now a police officer, attributes her strong sense of discipline and leadership to her time in band. Eric’s son maintains friendships with his former bandmates, one of whom was even his best man at his wedding. The relationships and skills they built continue to enrich their lives in meaningful ways.

Dave

Dr. Dave Gerhart and his wife have lifelong careers in music and are parents of two middle schoolers who showed an early interest in music. Both children started on piano, one son now plays cello and the other plays both piano and violin.

Dave remembers that when his kids were growing up, he and his wife encouraged them to play and explore music, and not in just one genre. “In mom’s car they listened to classical music and dad’s car was everything from Caribbean to rock.” He feels that playing music should come naturally and not forced. When his children began creating music, he recalls, “they just kind of wrote stuff. They saw what mom and dad were doing [as musicians] and started creating their own music, then they’d play it for us, similar to writing a story [and reading it back].”

Although Dave’s children are still in the midst of their musical journey, he has already observed a notable increase in their confidence, musical growth and overall character development. He fondly remembers when his son volunteered to wash dishes, a responsibility he embraced during summer music camp. Above all, Dave is thrilled that his children have found a passion and have dedicated significant time and effort to improve their skills.

For more information, check out this video.